I Don't Want My Parents To Read This.com

 Dear God, 

I know we’ve been together a long time. You’ve watched me learn to walk, and read, and dance. You’ve watched me go from the smallest of children to a tall and strong woman. I know we have been together for the past 17 years, but, and I’m sorry to say, I think it is time that we part ways. It’s not because I can’t hear you, or don’t feel you; it is because I can. 

My childhood is one that has been heavily saturated in the idea of religion. My dad, my grandmother, my uncle, my cousins, and my community have all made sure of that. All my life, they’ve taught me, drilled into me, that everything goes back to God. The way we dress, what we eat, how we act. All of my life, your way has been the only way, and that has gotten me very far. But I can’t shake the feeling that there is something beyond you. That there may be things outside of the bubble of religion I have known all my life. Some things that I need to explore and experience for myself.   

Please know that I am not leaving you because I do not love you, or because I am ungrateful for the life you’ve given me so far, or for the time we’ve spent together. In fact, it is quite the opposite. I am very thankful to have grown up with something so solid and sound as the foundation of my life and beliefs. But now that I am grown, I am ready for something new – not something dangerous or unreliable – just something “open”. 

 I am ready to meet new people, and travel to new places, and experience life in a way I have never before. I want to be confused, and excited, and forced to learn new things. I want something that will teach me about adaptation and allow me to be braver than I have ever been before. 

God, I am not going to forget you. Instead, I will keep many of the lessons you have taught me in my back pocket. I will love unconditionally, work to help others, and I will always lead with kindness. However, I also have new lessons to learn. Because while I love you, I do not always agree with you, and I do believe that there are truths beyond the ones you’ve taught me, and people beyond the ones you have put in my life. And while this may, at times, make you uncomfortable, I cannot continue to sacrifice my own sense of self and my own happiness to appease you and the powers that be. That’s not me saying that I am unwilling to grow; it is simply me saying that I am unwilling to shrink 

And so, dear God, Universe, Mother Nature, or whoever may be listening, please know that I will be scared, and confused, and that I will miss you. But also, I will be brave, and free, and I will always know that you will be here for me to come back to, and for that, I am forever grateful. 

Sincerely, 

Her Own Person